Thursday, November 3, 2011

Quick 'n Dirty

   Just a quick "How's your father", as Austin would say. An update wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, as someone from the early to mid-ninties might have commented. To business:
   Friend Morne phoned me on Hallowe'en, telling me I should hitch my lazy arse out of bed and pyjamas and into some costumery, for we were to paint the town red. Failing that, we would at minimum smear some rouge over in the vicinity of Rock Shack, regardless of whether or not anyone else was in a decorative mode at all. I relish any and all opportunities to dress up, and would slap on a wig and a moustache to go to the bathroom if you gave it a theme, thusly I aye-ayed and immediately started pulling pots of face paint out the back of my cupboard in the hopes that at least SOME of them hadn't dried up completely. As luck would have it, I had lots of white, and a couple of pots of red and black fabric paint (that comes off pretty easily from skin, and quite frankly I'm the kind of person who observes the 5 Second Rule, so it wasn't going to bother me), so I figured I could assimilate something creepy or thereabouts. For reasons you really oughtn't ask about, I happened to have a ruff laying around (not a euphemism- get your mind out of the gutter. Oh who am I kidding, I beat you there by a long shot, didn't I?) as well as some fingerless black mesh gloves and a few odds and ends that could vaguely be called "old-timey" by someone with severe glaucoma of the eye, so I was good to go.
   God only knows what Friend Morne was going for- he certainly didn't.

   And in case you were wondering, yes, this photo was taken in the late 1800's on ye olde camera phone. Morne went back and forth between being Dr. Jekyll, Dorian Grey a la League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and just sort of fiercely dandy. It was excellent. I, however, proved once and for all that I am not alcohol-ready, and managed to make myself look a damn fool at the pool table by grabbing the cue ball when it didn't go where I wanted it to go and then nearly running Dr. Jekyll through with the cue. I also managed to give myself such a bruise on my leg as to stun and amaze you, and that is the story of Loraine's new one drink maximum.

   Frederick has made contact again. Roused by the support my last blog post generated for his work, he decided to reward my loyalty with a bit of special attention. Observe:

   Here is a man unafraid of standing up for violent lovemaking videos at yummdick dot com. That last sentence is going to get me some very odd Google search hits.

   Yes, yes I do know Fred. Don't need to tell me nothin' twice. He's somehow managed to bring together the two worlds of Tony Danza and Austin Powers in one swift comment with two hot-off-the-press topical references. Guess who's new catchphrase is Power Shags and will be worked into every conversation possible? BAZINGA, BITCH.

   And lastly, before I go away to watch more Community because it is the new altar at which I worship (seriously, have you seen that show? It's HILARIOUS), I share with you a quick new Pie-Project. I have started taking lessons in very basic computer animation, and have just graduated from making a lump-shaped ball float across the screen to working on a walk cycle. I have completed a whole 13 frames of that walk cycle thus far and I suck only medium. Ok, medium to medium-large, but I promise I'm starting the one drink maximum soon. It's forcing me to finally learn Photoshop, something that's been intimidating me like a very large, angry biker with a broken beer bottle for years. The guy kind enough to put up with "but how do you rename the little layer things?" from me is Charles from Fopspeen, whom I intend to strong arm into showing me how to animate dirty drawings as soon as I master this walking business. 
   Just as a sneak peak, here's what the puppet looks like that I'm having walk in place on screen like a drunk epileptic with body issues.

      So that's a quick and dirty update. I shall keep you abreast of any and all interesting developments, if there should ever be any.
   Hey, just because there haven't been any up until now doesn't mean we should lose hope, ok?

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