Tuesday, May 29, 2012

You Can't Choose Your Family. Fuck.

   Well fuck me, pielings. You thought I was done terrorising small communities with my satanic ways? THINK AGAIN. Teh evil (sic) is back, and she is armed with, erm, Penn & Teller episodes.


   Quick celebrity watch: was attending the birthday party of an old school friend, sitting there much like the proverbial lonely cheese. I do not mix well with others, and it takes some time to adjust into my merry, black-hearted self. I was lamenting about not know anyone there, when two people piped up that they did know me- I'm Loraine, I sat behind this one in English class for the whole two months I went to Eldoraigne High, and I was actually in primary AND highschool with that one. Damn. I sat in the back and doodled, people, learn to ignore the crazy people, that's how you lose fingers. Either way, the one with whom I apparently shared an English teacher was rather spiffingly the double of Alexandra Breckenridge from Dirt and American Horror Story, and the guy sitting next to her was Jackson from Gilmore Girls. I cannot stress enough how awkward it is to try to work up the right combination of words to ask someone if you can take their picture for your blog, because they look like someone else. I managed to ask the chick, because she seemed chuffed enough with her lookalike, but balked on asking Jackson for his likeness. No way that comes off as anything other than me perving on some guy while his girlfriend is sitting right next to him, no matter how hard I try to argue that "no really, it's like a real thing."

   I've also gone a fairly proximal red to the above examples. The first attempt came out as what can only be described as Vitamin C shade orange. Andrea helped me colour it, but I had to run into Clicks looking like Leeloo in order to grab a darker box of dye. I looked absolutely everyone in the eye and dared them to disparage my neon do. If I want to do orange I bloody well shall. It just so happens I really, really don't want to do orange.

   And in closing, pie-pets, I want simply to share something that I feel has gone wholly unappreciated by its target audience, mainly because its target audience has insisted on pointing out that the tail looks like a malformed penis.

   Hellboy Mario.
   Good night.

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